Wednesday 4 October 2017

Barbecuing in all seasons (Sept. 20)



DIARY

Marching to the beat of a different drummer

                        by Robert LaFrance

            So all it took were a few hurricanes to shut Donald Trump’s Twitter mouth for a week or two? Who knew? As I write this, the American president has not tweeted a controversial sentence for what seems like months.
            Hurricane Harvey in southeast Texas and later Louisiana, then Hurricane Irma followed by Hurricane and Tropical Storm José flattened a lot of buildings and killed a lot of people who would probably have preferred to have remained living even though Trump was sending his stupid twits – I mean tweets – worldwide.
            To bring the results of the hurricanes a bit closer to home, I can safely say I went a little strange and then stranger as I looked at all the television coverage of these disasters, mostly of Irma.
            I watched CNN a lot because they had so many reporters on the scene to report on all the destruction in the Caribbean and Florida; one evening I was sitting in my favourite chair while some poor schmuck was standing out in the wind and rain at Miami. He had to hang on to a lamp post so he didn’t get blown into the sea.
            “WHAT’S GOING ON?” said my wife as she came home from a church meeting or some such gathering. “Why do you have plywood on all the windows? Also, I don’t appreciate having to crawl over a lilac bush and in a kitchen window because you have the TV so loud and the doors all braced shut.”
            “I was just battening down the hatches,” I defended myself. “You can’t be too careful.”
            “Actually, you can be too careful,” was her rejoinder. “AND YOU HAVE BEEN! Do you realize that it’s warm and sunny here with only a breeze? You’re not in Florida you know.”
            I shook my head in acknowledgement of her comment. “I guess I went a little overboard,” I said, and she didn’t argue. “There’s good news though. All that plywood…I’ve been needing a new chicken coop for years.” But she was gone to unload the car whose back seat was full of food she had bought ‘just in case’, and the trunk was full of gasoline containers in case we had to mow the lawn with no advance notice.
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            Speaking of mowing the lawn, I think people are weird.
            My friend Flug (Richard LaFrance, no relation) was out mowing his front lawn when I got home from town yesterday afternoon. He was zooming around as if he were Hercules cleaning the Augean Stables which I am sure you’ll recall from the Greek myth.  Flug, like Hercules, did finish the job and when he shut off the mower he walked over to say hello where I was pulling carrots out of my garden. (If you want to dig carrots, a garden is an ideal place to find them.)
            “Glad to get that job done,” he said. “Now I won’t have to think about it until May.”
            That got me thinking (no mean feat, as they say) about attitudes. In April everyone is drooling for the summer to come so we can, among other things, mow lawns, but now in September people seem to have given up and have thrown in the towel on summer as if they were eager for it to end and eager for that 4-letter S-word to show up. This is all very strange to a Tilley boy and we Tilley boys are known for our intellectual achievements.
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            Warning: this is an entirely new subject – barbecuing.
            Around our estate here in Kincardine, we (that is, I) are/am just as likely to barbecue in February as in July. In fact, I can’t wait until the winter barby season to begin. When we invite people to our Valentine’s Day event they are often startled, staggered and amazed when they arrive and find me standing on the front porch and brushing sauce onto burgers and sausages. The effect is increased if there is a minor blizzard occurring.
            Back to the subject: why should we always barbecue the same things? I’ll bet the philosopher Henry David Thoreau never barbecued hot dogs, or even cooked corn wrapped in tinfoil on the barby. Here’s a quote from him: “As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind.”
            Excuse me, that had nothing whatsoever to do with barbecuing. Here’s the one I was thinking about: “Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after.”
            That wasn’t it either. Maybe this is the one I wanted: “If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.” And so last evening I barbecued anchovies, sunchokes and peas. I’ll show him who’s a different drummer.
                                        -end-

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