Wednesday 28 June 2017

" I had to answer the phone anyway" (June 21)



DIARY

The Norse goddess was named Frigg

                        by Robert LaFrance

            Not referring to the blowhard now living at the White House (that we burned during the War of 1812 and should have kept burning), people do lie, and automatically.
            Thursday morning my bedroom phone rang at 7:51 am and I stumbled over to answer it. (Someday I will put it next to my side of the bed.)
            “Halloo,” I mumbled, not meaning any more than “&^%$#@(*^!”
            “Oh hello, did I wake you up?” said this bright and cheerful voice.
            “No, it’s all right,” I mumbled. “I had to get up to answer the phone anyway.”
            Although I never lie (that’s a lie), there are times when one must lie to salve other people’s feelings. In the days before Political Correctness, these were called ‘little white lies’. I remember the day half a century ago when I asked a certain girl if she had any feelings for me. “You must be kidding,” she said. “You disgust me,” and she spat on the ground. You see how she spared my feelings by not telling me the whole truth?
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            “Wow! That’s quite an edifice,” enthused one of the busload of Toronto tourists. She was gazing at Kincardine’s skyscraper, a 3-storey structure built during the Depression and still standing as a monument to our business community.
            It’s looking pretty shabby these days – its last paint job was in 1959 – but is still an imposing building. Flug’s Uncle Jeff owns it now and keeps chickens in it, something not unusual in these parts. His wife’s father had built it in 1932, as an answer to New York City’s Empire State Building that, amazingly, had been put up on time and on budget that year.
            Although I’ve lived in these parts for several decades, I never have figured out why a busload of tourists would come all the way down here to look at it. I’ve heard that  that city has several buildings more than three storeys tall. On Saturday I found out.
            Glenn Abbott is a tour guide of that bus line. He explained that neither he nor the tourists had any interest in a chicken house in rural New Brunswick. “The so-called tourists are homeless people,” Glenn said. “You see, Toronto can’t afford to put them up in apartments or even closets, so they hire us to drive them around the country. It turns out that it’s much cheaper to do it this way. When we leave here we’re heading for Minto, where there’s a petting zoo.”
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            Yesterday evening I visited old Finsterwald who was watching television. He’s always watching television. It doesn’t matter if it’s Wheel of Fortune reruns, a Littlest Hobo Festival or War and Peace done in Swahili, with subtitles.
            While I was there yesterday, he did manage to drag his eyes away from a Manitoba Poker Tournament long enough to say hello the beer’s in the fridge, but that was about it, plus: “Pull up a chair. Coronation Street is coming on in three hours, after The Secret Edge of Tomorrow’s General Hospital Storm.” He loves his soap operas.
            The reason I mention this all is that while I was there, a short show came on and talked about ‘artificial intelligence’. I looked over at Finsterwald who wasn’t taking in what was being said. It was then I realized that his ‘Smart TV’ and Smart Car, both made with Artificial Intelligence, represented about the only intelligence that the Finsterwald house would ever see. I went home and watched Jeopardy and didn’t know one answer.
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            Why I wanted to know this, I have no idea, not being intelligent, but last week I checked on Google to see where the names of our days came from.
            Obviously, or at least evidently (not even apparently) Sunday’s name came as a tribute to the Sun, or at the very least the Sun God Ra of ancient Egypt. Monday is talking about the moon; Tuesday is clearly in tribute to the Germanic War god Tiu (as if I had heard of him). Wednesday is from the Germanic Sky god Woden – we all knew that. Thursday is from the Norse Thunder god Thor, and then, last but not least, the name Friday is named after the Norse Love goddess Frigg. Google it if you don’t believe me.
            So when you hear someone say: “Holy Frigg!” when they drop a stitch in that sock they’re knitting, they’re really talking about love. Go figure.
                                           -end-

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