Tuesday 6 March 2018

The singer named Prince (Jan 24/18)


Colour my world, just don’t use ‘Caliente’

                        by Robert LaFrance

            I have to say it: I’m all excited about a new colour that the paint company Pantone has come up with. In the company’s announcement it referred to ‘Ultra-Violet’ as its Colour of the Year pick for 2018.
            Of course they called it their ‘Color of the Year’ pick because they’re an American company and had to spell the word ‘colour’ incorrectly, but we all get the point. As I said, exciting news.
            Remember the singer Prince? Of course we all do, but I’ll be blessed if I can remember two songs he made famous. The reason I mention him is that purple or perhaps ultra violet was his ‘signature colour’, whatever that might mean.
            My purpose in mentioning this is to point out that there are now officially 2,344,722 paint colours in the world. Flug can prove this because his wife Zelda looked over every one of them because deciding on ‘peach’ for their living room walls.
            Here’s how Pantone described a group of several paint colours: “Collectively, the colours selected mostly run deep, with rich almost jewel-like tones, and skim through every mood, from energetic to meditative. While some feel classic, others channel minimalism and mystery.”
            My late grandfather Muff LaFrance (1881-1976) would have had something to say about the worship of interior house paint. “Bob, a lot of people don’t have enough to do.”
            The company Benjamin Moore has also decided on a new colour to lead us into the rest of 2018. Its choice is “a strong, charismatic shade of red called ‘Caliente’ that  feels akin to red velvet…‘Caliente’ is the ideal red for a room, as its warm, brown undertones make it a perfect choice for interiors; it’s seductive yet energetic.”
            Grampy, please come back and have a talk with these people.
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            Changing the subject, don’t you just love it when there’s a big television news item about a new wonder drug that will almost certainly cure everything from hives to depression to broken bones? The story might go on about even more conditions that will be cured, and then at the end of the story the reporter/announcer says it won’t be available to the public until the year 2024 because now they have to actually test it.
            People have been clambering to try and understand the controversy here in New Brunswick about the ‘not-for-profit’ company called Medavie taking over the running of Extra-Mural Nursing. I have to say I am against it, mainly because former NB Premier Bernard Lord runs Medavie and anything he runs I would prefer to steer clear of. When he was premier for seven long years (1999-2006) we here on Manse Hill Road despaired of ever getting as much as two pails of chip-seal on our road. My friend the late Dennis Campbell, who was a Tory and knew the premier and his government well, told me that the chances of getting our road paved while Lord was premier were somewhere between zero and none because Lord perceived everyone out here as Tories (I don’t have any political affiliation.)
            And by the way, what’s the difference between a ‘not-for-profit’ company (Medavie) and a ‘non-profit’ company? It sounds as if they are identical, but because Bernard Lord is concerned I wonder.
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            How many of the readers of this column have a computer? By this time I would say quite a few, like 90%. Isn’t it interesting how hardware companies like Windows and Apple still can’t get it right?
            In the past two weeks my computer has received out of the ether a total of 23 updates and ‘security fixes’. It didn’t used to be like that back when we drove our Chevvies to the levies in the 1950s, did it? When companies like Ford made a car like the Model T that came out before 1910, that was it, no updates or fixes, right? Totally reliable?
            Wrong. I just finished reading an essay by a man called E. B. White who had bought a Model T Ford in the early 1920s. He said that when you bought one, it was just the basic shell. Here are some of the things you had to add if you wanted it to keep running: “For nine cents you bought a fanbelt guide to keep the belt from slipping off the pulley; you bought a special oil to prevent chattering, a tire patching outfit, a sun visor, a steering wheel brace, a set of anti-rattling pieces to bolt here and there, shock absorbers (this is extra, remember) and more and more gadgets. You started the car with a crank, unless you were made of money and could afford a self-starter.
            Next time you sit down at your computer and curse because it needed another update, remember the Model T. And your computer is not likely to leave you sunk in a mudhole on the so-called highway.
                                             -end-

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