Saturday 29 October 2016

My first haircut since 1972 (Oct 26)



DIARY
And they say New Brunswickers are daft?

                        by Robert LaFrance

            I am probably not the only person to ever say: “Truth is stranger than fiction”. It hurts me that I didn’t think of that first, but that’s the way it goes.
            Sure, Einstein was the first to think of the General Theory of Relativity, but we can’t all be Einsteins. In fact, none of us can be Einsteins.
            What I’m getting at is a news story out of Ernfold, Saskatchewan, Burdock Capital of Canada and home of famous hockey player Gordie Hull. Gordie, getting a bit bored with retirement from the SHL where adoring crowds cheered him on most nights,  asked his wife Sadie what he could invent to get back in the limelight.
            “Invent washing the dishes for a change!” she roared at Gordie, whose selective hearing didn’t pick that up. Later in the (one-sided) conversation, she said he should do something with his music. He had taken piano lessons for almost six months when he was  nine.
            Gordie pondered and he thought and he ruminated, much like other ruminants (cows and the like, chewing their cuds) in the fields and finally he came up with an idea. That night, down at a bar not unlike the watering hole Flug and I frequent, he gathered together a whole whack of his cronies, bought them each a beer so they wouldn’t make fun of him, and made his pitch.
            “Every pickup truck’s horn has a horn with slightly different pitch than everybody else’s. How about if we create a car horn symphony?”
            It took some more talking and a whole lot more lemonade, but he finally persuaded ‘the boys’ to give it a try. For the next week there was Gordie going around Ernfold with an electronic tuner to find out the pitch of each vehicle horn. Using the same method, except pink gin this time instead of lemonade, he persuaded the ladies to go along with his weird scheme and finally he had 34 vehicles lined up in the driveway of the Ernfold Church of Enlightenment. It was a Saturday night. Hundreds of people, including reporters and camera men and women from Sask TV, were ready.
            And so the universe unfolded, with all those musicians, under the direction of famous retired hockey player Gordie Hull. They played two selections from Bach’s Brandenburg Concertos and one from Don Messer’s ‘Victoria County Suite’.
It was a huge success. I don’t have to tell you that the whole musical scene was picked up by CBC’s ‘The National’ with Peter Mansbridge and Wendy Mesley describing it in detail. I heard that Wendy wanted to come out and see for herself, but CBC’s vice-president, speaking from Florida where he was on a fact-finding tour, said no.
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            I was just recalling that when I was growing up in Tilley in the 1950s and 1960s I dreamed of travelling to far-off places like Edmundston and even Montreal, and I later did, but it was pretty much all in Canada, except for a 2-week stay with friends in Columbus, Indiana back in 1970.
            The reason I was reminiscing was that I just received a text message from my travelling younger daughter who is at present in Singapore. Singapore? Where’s that?
            Before that, she and her husband had stayed a week in Hong Kong which was pretty much a good experience. My son-in-law and my daughter discovered an area of Mong Kok, Kowloon that was called Sneaker Street. The whole street sold nothing but sneakers, running shoes – whatever you want to call them. He bought a pair of Nike trainers at a good price.
            To recap, there I was thinking about growing up in Tilley and considering that  Edmundston was quite a journey, and there are my daughter and son-in-law buying shoes in China.
            Speaking of that, my daughter found when she was in Hong Kong that an acquaintance from Upper Kent was working in a city called Shenzhen that was only 17 kilometres away from Hong Kong. However, getting there would have been a problem because it is located in ‘the real China’ as someone called it. It needed visas to get there and they would have taken days to get.
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            Up to the time of this writing, we have been having a wonderful fall here, referring to the weather. I know, Old Man Winter will soon be here – and may already have arrived by the time this column is printed – and is ‘just around the corner’ as they say so I decided to celebrate.
            No parties for me, I decided to go to a hairdresser and get the old mane trimmed. I had been cutting my own hair since the summer of 1972 when my Vancouver barber made a mess of my hair for the second time in a row (Get me to tell you THAT story some time!) and I bought a pair of scissors.
                                               -end-

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