Tuesday 7 May 2013

Those poor folks in Florida and Toronto (April 17/13)


Just think of those poor people in Florida 

                                                            by Robert LaFrance
 

            Did you ever make ice cream, I mean with an ice cream maker that you crank and crank and crank, and then when you’re finished that cranking you find it wasn’t worth doing? Really? I never have. It’s always delicious. But what I wanted to say is that when I was cranking (and cranking, etc.) I was thinking how very lucky we were in that instance, that of making ice cream. Or, as some say, ‘making homemade ice cream’.

            The snow this time of year is crystalline, if that’s the right word, and is perfect for making ice cream. While I was cranking, I thought of all the people in Florida who aren’t lucky enough to be able to go out on their porches and make it. I wonder if they realize what they’re missing, with their golf and outdoor swimming in January, when they could be cranking.

            It reminds me of what Grampy said to me once. Back in the 1970s, I was mentioning that the population of Toronto, eight hundred miles away, was over two million at the time. He scratched his chin, looked around at the rolling hills of Tilley and said: “I wonder why so many people want to live so far away from everything.”

            On another subject, it’s not often that an organization can find the perfect phrase for what they want to do. The phrase ‘zero tolerance’ is one of those. It is embraced and caressed by police forces all over North America, especially in the U.S. where officers see themselves as the combination of Batman, Butch Cassidy and G.I. Joe. When they say ‘zero tolerance’ that relieves them of any responsibility for thinking, not an easy endeavour at the best of times.

            “Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced,” said the 19th century Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard, but I’ll wager he never saw a provincial government that apparently had decided to stomp his home town (meaning Perth-Andover) every chance they get. He never saw the price of a box of Vector breakfast cereal go from $7.29 to $2.99 for a week and then go back to $7.29. So…he needs to go back to Copenhagen, tend his garden, and do some more philosophizing.

            The world is a weird place. Donald Trump, the U.S.A.’s counterpart for Conrad Black except that so far he’s stayed out of jail, built a golf course in northern Scotland. Then Scotland decided to allow an energy company to build a wind farm that would supply half the energy needed by the city of Aberdeen. Trump sued and lost. His reason for suing? Because the wind farm would spoil the view of the North Sea from the golf course. What a buffoon and cartoon character that man is! Can he be a real person?

            Meanwhile, in Germany, a museum that contained – was actually built around – a section of the Berlin Wall where it was  constructed in 1961 wanted to move, and of course they wanted to move that piece of the Berlin Wall. There was a national outcry. I have a suggestion to the museum people: bring in Horizon Health and advisors from the NB provincial government. They move stuff all the time, but the downside is that the Wall may end up in a field in Waterville.

            Am I glad the month of March is over! Cabin fever is the worst in March, worse than January or even February when the deepest of winter is here and it looks as if spring will never arrive. In March we can actually see spring springing, but it’s not close enough yet to get out the screen tent. Now that we are well into April, we can see the flocks of Canada Geese – the braver ones anyway – heading north. I think I even recognized one. I last saw Elmer in November, when he honked by here just as if he were my sister, who thinks nothing of going to Florida in the winter while I stay here and shovel enough snow every day to bury Caesar, or a 1961 Falcon.

            Which brings me to the subject of the 1961 Falcon I used to own back in the late 1970s. Some people may even remember the photo of me in the Victoria County Record of the day, the one in which I held a .410 shotgun pointed at the hood of that car whose nickname was Hitler.

            And I said THE WORLD was a weird place?
                                         -end-

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