Sunday 3 March 2019

Cobra and a stick (Feb 20)


At last! A scandal for Canada!

                                    by Robert LaFrance

            I was beginning to think that we Canadians were going to be forced to rely on the good old USA for our interesting news, but lo and behold, our own Prime Minister’s Office came through with a scandal.
            It’s a little confusing to this old country boy, but the Tories are alleging that Prime Minister Justin Trudeau interfered in a criminal case involving the giant Quebec company SNC Lavalin. He has denied it of course – that is how tradition works – and the former cabinet minister involved has stuffed a sock into her mouth so she cannot talk.
            Take that, Donald Trump.
            In spite of our Canadian troubles, whatever they are, the USA continues to fascinate, what with Donald Trump and that corral full of liars in the White House spewing forth on ways to keep him from getting impeached.
It's like watching a cobra beat itself up with a stick. The turnover in the White House reminds me of the 1970s when Richard Nixon resigned as he was about to be impeached. Before that, his vice-president, Spiro Agnew, resigned after being caught  stealing political donation money. Gerald Ford became president and one columnist wrote: "We needed a Lincoln but were given a Ford." Lyndon Johnson, referring to Ford's lack of intellectual gifts, said Ford 'had played too much football while not wearing a helmet'.
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On Tuesday evening I was sitting in front of my television when there was a massive commercial featuring the words SPRING SALE! (I put in the exclamation mark myself.)
Those words gave me hope. I look out my kitchen window to see snow drifted a metre (and more) deep in my orchard and I think to myself (my favourite way, as I mentioned before) spring is on the way. Now we can start worrying about Perth-Andover flooding.
On Thursday evening, two days after I saw that spring sale ad, I went to the monthly supper at Perth Elks and was it ever a treat! The McDougall sisters brought their chef hats; the Rock Cornish Hen they served was delicious.
Meals like that are just some of the reasons for people to join Perth Elks which is one of several organizations that do a lot for the community. When people have physical problems, get burned out of their homes, want help with student projects and a dozen other ways, Perth Elks has been there since the early 1950s raising money. Sponsored by Bryce Bishop and Mark Johnson, I joined in 1978 and never regretted it although they probably did. This might be a tortured metaphor, but that Cornish Hen was just the icing on the cake. I urge everyone (all 17) reading this column to join Perth Elks and do even more for your fellow citizens.
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Last week I was reading somewhere that, as we get older, everyone we see reminds us of someone in our past. Walking around the grocery store and getting some yogurt (or maybe it was wine) I saw a tall grey-haired guy who I could have sworn was someone I had shared a jail cell with back in the old days. We had been captured during a street demonstration in Vancouver. To be truthful for a change, I was just there chasing women and did not really know anything U.S. nuclear testing on the Kamchatka Peninsula of Alaska.
Anyway, a bunch of us ended up in jail cells in the Davie Street lockup and were there for about three hours while the cops spent all that time interviewing (asking for dates) the women who had been demonstrating.
Back to the guy in the grocery store, he turned out NOT to be the guy in the Davie Street jail. He was a United Church minister from Fredericton. Or maybe it was Minto.
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As a journalist for many decades, I am very proud to say that I never once used the phrase a number of instead of saying that number, even an estimated number. A reporter might write or say: " A number of delegates disagreed with the chairman…"
Well, what number were you referring to? A dozen, a hundred, a thousand?
Back to the subject of Canadian scandals, I think that school 'storm days' need looking into. Don't think I am about to complain about the number of storm days this school year – the kids have to be kept safe and away from bad roads – but I am going to take up the case of home-schooled kids, of which there are more and more every year, particularly in the Scotch Colony and Carlingford, possibly Minto.
As a trained lawyer (I have spent a lot of time at the bar) I am about to tackle the law or lack of law about home-schooled kids and storm days when all the kids at other schools get to stay home and help their moms with laundry. It's just not fair that home-schooled kids don't get a day off school. Their parents are brutes!
                                   -end-

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