Monday 13 February 2017

Holsteins in the kitchen (Feb. 8)



DIARY

A ray of hope: spring is on the way

                        by Robert LaFrance

            Okay, so the weather outside is frightful, but the thought of spring is delightful; let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.
            I know we Canadians are going to suffer too, but how I pity the people south of the border, now that the new crowd is in power. The snow, such as is falling as I write this, will get a little more acetic, but it may not matter if Putin decides to level North America and his good buddy in the White House.
            My cousin sent me an email from Ontario and said that she, her husband and daughter are going to Florida this month – if they are allowed in. She has dark hair. “That man may ruin the country. I think you know who I mean,” she wrote.
            One final word on that dreary subject and we shall go on to better topics. All I ask is that each American citizen look over the history of Germany from the late 1920s to the end of the 1000-year Reich a decade and a half later. Those who can understand history will see many similarities.
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            Did I get this wrong? I heard that the SPCA is about to press charges against farmers who keep their cattle outside in the bitter cold. “If humans can live in a nice warm living room, so should our four-legged friends,” said Elroy Griggs, spokesman for the alleged animal protection organization. “I won’t insist that they should have television – at least a flat-screen one – but people certainly should enlarge their living areas to accommodate dozens of Holsteins and Black Angus. Right now I would draw the line on work horses.”
            Now that Robbie Burns Night – both shows – is or are over, I want to point something out. Or as the late Sara Williams, my high school English teacher would say: “I want to point out something. The helper word ‘out’ should be near the verb.”
            However one phrases it, I want to point out that around this house where the Burns Night MC lives, complete with rolling pin(s), the year is divided into two parts: ‘Before Burns and after Burns’. Recall when history teachers and others talked about Caesar being born in 100 BC, and the Norman conquest of Britain was 1066 AD? Those letters act about the same as BB (Before Burns) and AB (After Burns) around here. That reminds me, I must dry my kilt. I accidentally dropped it into the fireplace.
            I know he’s just trying to make money, but Clyde Dinja, whose tattoo shop is just down the road, has had an ad in the Kincardine Times and Dubiety: “Tattoos removed! Only $99” and his business is booming!
(Sounds like his company sells dynamite.)
Here is his secret: Clyde doesn’t erase tattoos; he adds another tattoo – this one flesh-coloured. He has a long shelf of small vials of various skin colours. In spite of what might be the prevailing ‘thinking’ in the White House, there are various colours of human skin. Mine is sort of a mottled eggshell as laid by a Rhode Island Red which, by the way, will soon he deported from that country to the south. Only white hens allowed.
Here’s some recent news that reminded me of the days long ago. When I was in my early 20s I was working in a bank in Hamilton, Ontario, and decided to invest some money in the stock market – common shares. I chose a Nova Scotia Company, Clairtone, which made TVs; I invested about $450 of my VERY hard-earned money into shares, hoping to see it worth $600+ in a matter of months and go on from there. It didn’t quite do that.
One month later my shares were worth $125 and within three months they had disappeared altogether. (The same with Stelco and Nortel shares in later years, but that’s another story.)
What made me think of this was a recent news story that the former Clairtone plant that had sucked up my money had been purchased by a company that will grow and sell medicinal marijuana. Ironic, and I’ll say no more about that.
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Here’s a phenomenon that has appeared over the past few years – the endless repetition of the same commercial as if the viewing audience has a short attention span.
Where was I? Oh yes, commercials. I was watching an English soccer game last weekend and at the halftime break there was a Guinness commercial, and then the same one, and again, and again. And yet again. What’s going on?
                                                        -end-

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