Winter in New Brunswick – what fun!
by Robert LaFrance
I am so pleased
that it’s winter, aren’t you?
The idea of
getting up in the morning and not putting on 17 layers of clothes is a little
crazy anyway; I sure like it when I can’t even go to the woodshed for some
organic fuel without bundling up in two parkas.
Sarcasm aside,
there is hope.
Since I don’t
remember a December so cold for many years, I am thinking that Whoever is in
Charge of the Seasons simply made a scheduling error. As I write this, the
weather outside is frightful, but the idea is delightful that we are suffering
through February weather, and when February comes along, the mercury will rise
to tolerable levels.
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Other notes from
an exciting holiday season:
Donald Trump –
yes, I an also tired of hearing that name – has now decided whom he wants in
his cabinet and as expected they are all right-wingers. Indeed, he was getting
desperate at the end and started looking at the NHL to see if he could find more.
I shudder to think of how badly the poorer Americans are going to fare during
the next four years. Or possibly eight if he can completely dismantle health
care, trade agreements, and the highway system.
My friend Flug is
scared of dogs; therefore he gets bitten a lot. Last week he accompanied me
when I visited my great grandmother Berylle and, sure enough, gran’s dog Snake
bit Flug right on the nose when he bent over to pat it on the head. The thing
is, I had told Flug beforehand that Snake had never in fifteen years so much as
bitten a living creature. Flug had thought he was safe. Snake, blind, deaf and
near the great mausoleum, made a mighty last lunge and gummed Flug’s proboscis,
then died. So not only does Flug have a sore nose, but now he’s on gran’s shoot
list. “Where can I get a pit bull?” she asked me.
Speaking of
hearing problems like Snake’s, the government of Sweden has passed a law
outlawing silent vehicles, like electric cars, because they can’t be heard by
people who can’t hear. That was the reason given by the government. It was all
a little confusing to me, because if they can’t hear they wouldn’t pick up the
sound of a Mack truck let alone a 2007 Corolla or an electric car.
Still on the
subject of cars, the Uber taxi company, if that’s what they are, was upset
recently in the Silicon Valley of California when a self-driving Uber taxi went
through a red light. Now I am a little confused about the whole thing. Would I
ever get into a self-driving car and trust technology to take me from Grand
Falls to the University of North Tilley’s main campus? No. If I have a death
wish, I will jump out in front out of an airplane, and I don’t mean on the
runway. Has the whole world gone mad, or just stupid?
Just to go back
to the beginning of this subject, imagine if you own an auto manufacturing
company and have been trying since the 1980s to make it quieter and quieter
until at last you have a nearly silent electric car. Then the government of
Sweden steps in and says: “No, your car has to make a noise!” It would ruin my
whole day.
When I was a
young gaffer my mother emphasized (nagged) that I should be neat and tidy at
all times – you can see how that turned out. Nowadays nobody dares to be neat
and tidy, because one is in danger of being labelled OCD. This Obsessive
Compulsive Disorder is thought by many to be a bad thing; to be very neat at
all times is now something not to be desired, indeed to be scoffed at. I will
never be called OCD, but those who are should cherish it.
I own an acoustic
guitar, a Yamaha R235 that I bought from my brother Lawrence a couple of
decades ago. I go for months without strumming and attempting to sing (only in
my living room when I am alone) and when I do take the guitar out of the case
it is rather painful on the old left-hand fingertips because I have always used
bronze wound strings. Back when I was a teenager my brother showed me a
shortcut; stick my fingertips on a hot stove, just for a quarter- or
half-second. That hardens them up, but it still can’t give me a singing voice.
Last evening I
held them on too long. The doctors says I can play the violin by February.
Happy New Year.
-end-
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