DIARY
Where
do I apply to join ‘other customers’?
by
Robert LaFrance
On the evening of Saturday, July 23,
the power went off at our estate here in Kincardine. It happens, to us and to
everyone else, so it wasn’t a big deal. After three or four hours it returned
with a flourish.
What was exceptionally annoying was
that I was waiting on the phone for well over an hour and an half, just to
report the power outage. Surely there is some mechanism for NB Power to have an
automatic response when one phones to report a power ‘interruption’.
Remember, this is the year 2016,
when there are driverless cars that can go from Halifax to Vancouver.
How hard would it be to have a
computer setup that, once the customer punches in the location of the outage,
can answer right then: “Okay big guy. We got it. We now know that you have a
power interruption at your place. Light your kerosene lamp and read a book.
Drink some lemonade.”
Apparently this is rocket science.
Instead, after I had I dialled NB Power and punched in the location of the
outage on my smartphone, I waited and waited and waited. And waited – for 93
minutes.
Even that wouldn’t be totally
annoying, but every minute or two a Voice came on to remind me that “due to
unexpected high call volumes” all their people were busy with “other
customers”. My question was (if I could have found a human to talk to): who are
these “other people” and how do I join that happy throng?
Let’s go back to the phrase
“unexpectedly high call volumes”. Because I planned to attend the Highland
Games on July 23 in Fredericton, from Wednesday on I had been looking at
weather forecasts. Each day I was seeing ‘possible thunder showers’. On Friday
morning the weather people (my old crowd) were saying ‘probable widespread
thunder showers and possible power outages’.
So, NB Power, why was the power
outage call volume “unexpectedly high”?
Anyway, long story short(er), all is
well and the power is back on. By the way, it was caused by an unexpected
lightning strike. They usually don’t announce it before they hit trees and
cats. And the bottom line is: Many complaints like mine could be avoided if we
could just call in, report the outage to a computer somewhere, and go back to
the lemonade and special brownies.
By the way, the Southern Victoria
Pipe Band played well in the Highland Games and I was back home Saturday
evening, just in time for that lightning storm. Timing is everything.
*************************
Other major news in our province:
The Saint John Transit Commission,
according to CBC Radio, has made some scheduling and other changes to “enhance
revenue”, according to a company spokesman. Isn’t it interesting how times have
changed in the accounting game? In the old days those changes would have been
implemented “to make more money”.
Some things are stranger than
fiction. Last week the news story went around the world that the city of Mosul,
Iraq, had set a new temperature record. According to the CBC Radio news report,
people in that place – as if they didn’t have enough stress – were suffering
under an air temperature of 55ºC. People were heading for Baghdad for some
relief. It was only 54ºC there. A temperature of 55ºC is the equivalent of
131ºF. Can you picture Achmed and Gimsel meeting on the street? “Quite a
scorcher today, huh?” says Achmed. Gimsel doesn’t answer. He’s a little spot of
grease on the sidewalk.
I’m going to have to drive to
Moncton this afternoon and visit Flug who is ‘incarcerated’ there. That’s
almost like being in jail. On July 7th he was all set to leave for
the Cayman Islands to visit his money and was going through a baggage check at
the airport. The highly educated and intelligent security guy was asking what
was in a small bag in Flug’s suitcase and he answered “toothbrush, toothpaste,
stuff like that, and lip balm.” The security guy heard “lip bomb”. You’d think
Flug would be more careful in airports; three years ago he shouted across the
airport lounge at his friend John Lallaree: “Hi, Jack!” That joke’s been going
around for years; you would think Flug had heard it, but he only had eyes for
Yew, his girlfriend at the time.
There must have been a major TV
documentary about bacteria on food, because every house I’ve been in lately has
smelled of Lysol and other toxic chemicals which seem to be the rage nowadays.
We’re supposed to wash our hands 87 times a day, preferably with carbolic acid,
in order to stave off all the dread diseases we come into contact with every
day. My friend the Perfessor said the other day: “No wonder people get sick;
they don’t come into contact with a germ until they’re in their forties!”-end-
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