DIARY
No
job finished until the paperwork is done
by
Robert LaFrance
Hey, how about that recent G7
‘summit’ that was held in Germany? Let’s give them a great big hand because
they really accomplished something, or we might think so, listening to the news
reports.
The main item was that these leaders
signed a paper saying they agreed to (almost) phase out fossil fuel use by the
year 2100. The TV news people were quite thrilled that Prime Minister Harper
had signed it. Excuse me, but Harper would send his grandmother to a
concentration camp if it meant he would get re-elected.
Excuse me again, but…2100? Are we
impressed?
The only other ‘major’ announcement
was that they wouldn’t drop the sanctions on Russia. Boy, that approach has
really kept that Hitler wannabee Putin out of Ukraine (and Crimea) hasn’t it?
Like the Canadian Senate, it’s time
to stop this G7, G8, and G20 foolishness. It’s only a chance for these turkeys
to eat some good grub, get on TV and it costs a fortune for no reason. I read
on one news report that a total of 22,000 extra German police officers were on
hand to guard the ‘dignitaries’ in case someone spilled champagne on them.
As to cost, AKA waste, the usual
estimate is $250 million or so. Although Germany allegedly paid for it, we can
be sure that we Canadians paid millions for all Harper’s travel and security
when he should have been home watching the Mike Duffy trial. The one we hosted
in Toronto and area cost us $858 million. Anybody remember what that
accomplished other than beating up demonstrators?
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My grandfather Muff LaFrance had
many sayings, and most of them made sense.
One day when I was in my late teens
and visiting him, who lived next door, I heard a shout coming from his
outhouse, a building I’ve mentioned three times in this column in just the last
month. “What is it, Grampy?” I said, thinking the worst (He was 93.); perhaps
he had dropped his brandy bottle down the toilet hole and expected me to fish
it out.
“Bobby! Would you get me the Eaton’s
catalogue from the kitchen table?” I thought it was an odd time to read, but
then connected the two terms: outhouse, and Eaton’s catalogue.
After that operation was down and
dusted, he emerged from the outhouse as spry as ever. “Good thing you came
along,” he said, “because I dropped the toilet paper roll down hole number two
of the 2-holer. No job is finished until the paperwork’s done.”
*************************
The next item concerns a lecture I
recently received on the economics of grocery sales. I was at a store far, far
away and noticed that medium hamburger – or ‘ground beef’ as they say – was on
sale for $7.89 a kilogram. Good price as things go nowadays. I thought: “If
MEDIUM hamburger is selling for that, then regular hamburger must be $7.00 or
so.” It turned out that logic like that has no business in a grocery store.
When I arrived at the meat cooling
area, I noticed that regular hamburger was priced at $12.89 a kilogram. I shook
my alleged head in shock and dismay. The meat manager must have gone over the
edge. I tracked him down. “Do you realize that regular hamburger is
priced $5 a kilogram more than medium hamburger?
“It’s because the medium is on sale,
and you’re an idiot, Bob,” he said kindly.
“Be that as it may,” I spluttered, “how can
‘regular’ be priced much higher than medium? Don’t you find this strange?” He
said he only found one thing strange in the area, and it wasn’t hamburger, and
went back to sorting the beef roasts and the pork roasts. I could see I was
never going to make him see the light, so I went to the back of the store and
bought $25 worth of the medium hamburger. “That’ll show them,” I said to the
door as I departed the Store of No Logic.
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Continuing with important matters, I
want to say that one of the hardest things to throw away is a key.
Do you agree? I won’t ask you to
phone or email me with your observations because I’m already swamped with
paperwork (see above) because of the usual reaction to my columns. This subject
came about because when I got up Saturday morning I decided to do something
useful – get rid of keys that had no use.
Two hours later I was still agonizing. Finally I
hung them all back in the closet. If I threw away one key, it would be to
something vital. I threw away a freezer key in 1991 and we almost starved.
-end-
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