Thursday 31 July 2014

I'm not apathetic about cash (July 30)

Is it apathy or that they just don’t care?

                                                            by Robert LaFrance

            One of my favourite lines from a TV show (M.A.S.H.) is the one delivered by Captain Hawkeye Pierce, the U.S. Army surgeon, to Private Radar O’Reilly: “You look pensive, Radar, or are you just thinking?” Radar answered that he was “just thinking”.
            A similar situation recently occurred during CBC Radio’s ‘Cross-Country Checkup’ when host Rex Murphy, discussing people’s lack of reaction to Toronto mayor Rob Ford’s latest escapade, asked a caller: “Is it apathy, or is it that they just don’t care?”
            There are a lot of strange things being said and done these days, but there always were. One of the strange things being done was the Canadian Banknote Company’s making the weird bills we have today.
            (For those addicted to credit and debit cards, I should explain that ‘cash’ always was, until now,  money made out of paper. Now the Can. Banknote Co. have added plastic to the formerly paper money.)
            I was talking to a Quebec truck driver named Gerald Clamette on that subject and his view was that everybody had gone nuts. “So I left one ten dollar bill in my pants pocket and put it in the dryer,” he said, “and about half an hour later that ten dollars was a round fuzzy ball of mush. I took it into the bank and they’re still laughing.”
            He was saying most of this in French and my French is about as good as my Swahili, so he could have been talking about the World Cup for all I know. “Maintenant le poop,” he went on, showing me a new $20 bill which he rubbed for a few seconds and produced three $20 bills. They had stuck together like snails to beer.
            Those who have had other weird experiences with those newfangled bills are invited to call or write me. I am sure that their sticking together and their becoming mush in a dryer are only, if you will pardon the cliché, the tip of the iceberg.
            I mentioned the World Cup which is now over, with Germany beating Argentina on July 13. Those who are able to understand the complicated game – you kick the ball into the opposing team’s net – are increasing in numbers. Tens of millions more people watch it now than did before this year’s World Cup finals, especially in the U.S.A., whose team did very well.
            Here’s what happened: On Sunday, July 13, about half an hour before the championship game was to begin, about ten cars zoomed by here, all going east. Sure as shooting (or volleying, as we say in soccer) I thought, they must be heading home to watch the World Cup. About an hour after the game finished, I drove up to some of the drivers’ homes. I asked the Perfessor how he had enjoyed the World Cup final. “What? I had to come home and mow the lawn.” Peter Grimith, next door, said he had been rushing home because he was having company, and all the rest said similar things. I guess watching soccer hasn’t quite caught on to the extent of hockey – yet.
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            I’ve always been under the impression that the cost of a product depends on the materials that go into it, but, boy was I wrong! Driving by a Fredericton car dealer last week, I decided to turn around and ask a few questions. Sitting side-by-side in the car lot were a 2010 Camaro convertible and a 2010 Camaro sedan. Both were in good shape with about the same mileage on the odometer. The convertible was priced $3400 more than the sedan although it clearly had less metal in it. So by that logic, if I were buying a house, should I look for one with the roof blown off?
            Speaking of things with the top off, I have a question of the province: why can’t there be a walkway across Tobique Narrows Dam while the crews are working on the roadway? Surely for $100,000 – or even less – the province could get one from the army. This would allow people to park at one end of the bridge and walk to the other side of the Tobique where someone could drive them into town. On July 18 I drove via Brooks Bridge from Kincardine to Mah-Sos School and then home via Arthurette and felt as if I’d just driven to Flin Flon, Manitoba.

            The folks who live at Tobique First Nation, Tilley, and Rowena areas would probably welcome a chance to arrange things better than they are now. I know that if you’re sitting in an office in Fredericton it doesn’t look all that inconvenient, but we don’t drive on Google maps. Is it apathy, or just that the government doesn’t care?
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