What does "down suller" mean? August 19/20

 

A fine example of how not to check for Covid-19

                                    By Robert LaFrance

            (NOTE: I got these facts secondhand but they have all been confirmed.)

            On the evening of Tuesday, August 11, a young woman I know went to bed and fell asleep about midnight. She awoke with a volcano of diarrhea and stomach upset. She wanted to go to the nearest ER (Waterville hospital) but being responsible, called 811, the Covid-19 line, and was told that she couldn’t go to the ER unless she first had a Covid-19 test, although it was clear by her symptoms that she didn’t have that Coronavirus. No fever, breathing problems or other Covid symptoms.

            The medical persons on duty at the hospital said they would call her back “in six or seven hours” and see how she felt. Eight hours later they did and said they had arranged an appointment for her in Fredericton, an hour’s drive away.

            She and her partner drove there and she had a very uncomfortable Covid test, but her partner did not. Figure that one out. Still no ER visit. They drove back to their home in northern York County. They had been told that it would probably be 24 to 48 hours before the result came in.

            Okay, let’s add this up: she received her Covid test a day and a half after she first got sick and was told to stay away from the ER. Meanwhile she saw no doctor and got no advice on what to do about her gastrointestinal problem that, at that point, had gone on 45 hours of so. Somebody said “try Gatorade” to replace electrolytes and it helped. Somewhat.

            She did go to the Waterville ER on Friday morning and was finally treated for the bowel problem, but remained in isolation because no Covid test result had come in. She went on IV and antibiotics and started to feel better.

            Saturday morning, four days after she first called the ER, she got a phone call from the Covid-19 test people. The test was NEGATIVE. She was moved into a regular hospital bed from isolation, and went home the next day, Sunday, August 16.

            To sum up, she phoned 811, the Covid line, on Wednesday morning, August 12, and was told she couldn’t come in to the Waterville Hospital ER until she got a Covid-19 test. She was so sick she could hardly walk. She did go into the ER on August 14, finally.

            Lesson learned: If you’re sick as a dog, do not call 811 first or you’ll be barred from the ER. Perfectly logical, if there were Covid testing at every hospital or nearby. Otherwise, it sucks to be you.

            Foolish me, I thought all this time that even the slightest hint of Covid-19 would immediately set the wheels spinning and within minutes, or at least an hour, the test would be done. Within an hour after that the result would arrive electronically.

            I guess at the ripe age of 72 I am hopelessly naïve.

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            To change the subject completely, I am finding that English is a bizarre language, especially when spoken or written. I stopped by Igor’s house day before yesterday and he met me at the door. “I’ll be right back,” he said. “I just have to go down suller for a few minutes and get some stuff.”

            It took me some strenuous thinking, but I finally figured out, just when he arrived back and told me, that “down suller” means the same as “down cellar”, or as some others may say: “down in the basement”.

            People (other than myself of course) seem to think that the English language is a mere plaything. Whenever a new product is invented and goes on the market, the name it starts with is the one it must keep throughout eternity.

            For one example, the name Kleenex. It doesn’t matter if the brand name on the store shelf is Heifer Tissue, it will forever be Kleenex. Same goes with Prestone, which was the car antifreeze of record many decades ago. People put Prestone in their car radiators back then and still do today, even if what the garage maven is pouring “Zanti-Freeze”.

            One of the most famous examples is Aspirin, first put on the market by the Bayer Company in Germany and the Netherlands. Many, MANY companies started selling the same product, main ingredient Acetylsalicylic acid, and calling it everything from Ass-burin (donkeys didn’t like that) to Ashbon acid. Of course the Bayer company sued for copyright infringement but it was too late. Aspirin was already sold in every country from Poland to Moncton.

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            Speaking of the many many products now for sale in Canada and the world, I think one of the most prolific is the ordinary tin can opener. When I was a kid, 60-plus years ago, the only can opener we had in the house was a lethal-looking beast that one drove down into the can and, by stages, got to see the beans, soup or whatever.

            It was a bit cumbersome, to be sure, but it got the job done, eventually. And the only moving part on the tool was a corkscrew, made redundant by the fact that none of my family’s wine bottles had a cork, relying on the screw type cap. We were Tilley sophisticated.

            Oh, and there was a part of the can opener that could open a beer bottle – not that any of my family would ever think of drinking beer. I could be lying.

            What brought this subject to mind was the fact that I was idly ‘surfing the net’, as we used to say in the old days, and Googled ‘can opener’.

            When it rains it pours, even in the middle of a drought. I learned that there is for sale a Kitchen Aid Gourmet Soft Handle Can Opener with Magnet for a mere $28.83, a Cuisinart Deluxe Can Opener for the giveway price of $48.99, a KitchenAid can opener for $29.95, and 2944 other offers. I wonder if they really open cans?

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