We deserve a pat on the back
By Robert LaFrance
People are being very diligent these days in wearing anti-Covid masks, using hand sanitizers and taking a lot of precautions. I salute them and me.
It’s no fun walking through stores while wearing a bunch of hardware on one’s face and trying to talk to people and be heard, but it has to be done.
“Do you have any Kraft crunchy peanut butter?” I might say.
“Low-salt bacon you say?”
“No, Kraft crunchy peanut butter,” I might say.
“This is a grocery store. We don’t carry copper pipe. Try the hardware store.”
Meanwhile I thought he/she was directing me toward the dairy case. After a while, I found Kraft crunchy peanut butter. I think I did anyway. Is there such a thing as a peanut butter and dill pickle sandwich?
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Let’s not get through a column without mentioning the Great Canadian Subject – the weather. I worked for quite a few years at weather stations in what is now Nunavut and what remained Northwest Territories, and always looked back fondly on those years. When I resigned I held $25,000 in bonds and have often kicked myself for walking away from a job that paid well and was so far out in the back of beyond that there was nowhere to spend all that.
Back to the present, I am baffled about the weather we share today. It was toasty warm for quite a few days in early November, then a cold snap took what remained of my root vegetables, and then we were back in toasty weather. Who’s in charge?
Last Tuesday morning I arose about 8:00 am to a bright and shining day. A glance at the outside thermometer showed me that I wouldn’t be needing long johns (not to get too personal). I would even be able to rake some leaves and till them into my hopeful 2021 gardens.
Twenty-four hours later I awoke about the same time and dressed cheerfully. Another nice-looking day! I went outside with the plan to rake some more leaves and work in my orchard. Wrong!
It was –5º C with a brisk – very brisk – southeast wind. Brass monkey weather. I quickly went inside and put on fourteen layers of long johns, a thick undershirt and whatever clothes I could find including wool socks quarter of an inch thick. Brrrrr!
Next morning it was +9º C but I didn’t trust the thermometer. Long johns it was. I won’t go on with this, but the point is whoever is in charge of the climate and weather around here is obvious batting above his/her abilities.
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In local news, I am quite pleased with the job done on the Perth walkway, formerly known as The Boardwalk.
When that sidewalk was made mostly of wooden boards and planks and at a cost of $300,000 or so, it was a pleasure to walk on, but after a while, like the rest of us, it started to rot. Now, starting in mid-November, the scenery will once again be great, and the concrete sidewalk probably won’t rot any time soon.
On some of those warm days I mentioned above, dozens of people have been trying out the new boardwalk. Or should I say “board”walk? Something to do with Covid I think. Get some exercise and maintain social distancing.
Our province is fighting the good fight in trying to keep down the numbers of people diagnosed with New Corona Virus (one of the alternate names for Covid-19) but I get the sinking feeling that some of their methods are a little weird. We are in the “Fredericton Zone” which extends from Fredericton to Plaster Rock and possibly to Edmundston, depending on which bureaucrat you are listening to at the time.
A show of hands – what possible use is the information that there is one case in the Fredericton Zone when it could be in Fredericton, Nackawic, Woodstock, Aroostook, St. Andre, St. Leonard or any point in between those places? Seems to me that it would be better to narrow down the locale a lot more so we can be extra protective of ourselves.
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Do we get tired of hearing a difficulty described as ‘problematic’? I think I am. Although I am a retired journalist, I blame reporters and others of the so-called Fourth Estate for foisting words and usages on us, the unsuspecting public. We hear “it is symptomatic of” instead of ‘a symptom of’ as if they weren’t the same thing. Something like ‘hot water heater’.
And then of course this allegedly English phrase ‘he referenced…’ instead of ‘he referred to’. It’s all a bit distressing to someone who had devoted decades to the effort of writing properly constructed English.
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I cannot complete this column with some mention of Donald Trump. For almost four years I and other reporters and comedians have made a living reporting on this man’s tweets, blithering, speeches and just general bafflegab and I want to say I will miss him. If the world can reach January 20 without being plunged into a war by this psychotic individual, it will be a miracle.
Donald Trump is not going to ever admit that he lost the November 3 election by the largest margin ever recorded. In 2016 Hillary Clinton beat him by 3 million votes and this year Joe Biden beat him by six million votes and yet Trump has no intention of stepping down until he is dragged out by his orange ears. What’s scariest of it all is that he received 71 million votes in the recent election and a good many of them are skating across thin mental ice. Let’s wish all Americans and their neighbour – us – the best of luck. -end-
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