DIARY
The
U.S. political system is bonkers!
by
Robert LaFrance
Several decades ago (pre-Ronald
Reagan) I decided that, rather than continue to scoff and sneer at the U.S.
political system, I would study it carefully. Surely something that looked so
weird couldn’t really be that bad. Could it?
It was, and is.
Even after considerable study and
perusal all those years ago and more recently - the Iowa caucuses, the New
Hampshire primaries, and all the other contests that take place the length and
breadth of that country – I could not find any sense to any of it, except that
the candidate with the most money wins his or her party’s nod.
Again this year I borrowed books
from the library, looked for explanations on Google and talked to people who
should know, and I still have no idea how Americans came to the conclusion that
this weird sytem results in the best candidates being chosen.
It’s a country that urges its
citizens to buy all the handguns they can afford, a country that elects judges,
a country that periodically comes within minutes of shutting itself down over
partisan political disputes, a country that seems to be content with some
people making a billion dollars a month and others being unable to afford
health care and/or living in cardboard boxes in darkened alleys. Why should I
expect their political system system to make sense?
I await an explanation from ANYONE
as to what their Electoral College is; clearly it isn’t a college and it’s
hardly electoral. A state with 50 EC seats goes to one side or the other –
every vote. If the Democrats won 50.0001% of the popular vote they would win
the state, period. This is taking the concept of ‘first past the post’ to the
stratosphere.
They even have enshrined in their
constitution that they have the right to bare arms, winter or summer. If we had
that law in Canada I would still wear a sweater in February.
Only in the United States of America
could a demagogue like Donald Trump emerge from the manure pile that is the
Repulican Party, AKA the GOP or Grand Old Party. If a Canadian politician said
the things Trump has been saying, he or she would have to take the last train
to Sable Island and stay there until after the election. And now he has won the
New Hampshire primary. Go figure.
*************************
Now, to relax away from U.S.
politics, I will outline a few items from this part of New Brunswick, including
some comments by Scotch Colony community leaders like Johnny Fixtura, a retired
British soccer player who recently bought Hendersons’ pig farm in Lower
Kintore. I stopped by to welcome him to the community and, like many an
Englishman, was cheerful and optimistic. He showed me his pen that was full of
some very loud pigs that, he said, would soon be converted to cash. I asked him
how he could stand the noise that threatened my eardrums and my equilibrium.
“Why, that’s my squeal of fortune, old chap!” he laughed.
We continued to his root cellar
where the smell of apples was almost overpowering. “They’re just about ready to
be made into apple sauce and pies,” he said, “and my wife is ready, willing,
and able.” I looked over at Mrs. Fixtura, who seemed to be reluctant,
unenthusiastic, and incapable. However, Johnny continued beaming, much like
Captain Kirk used to do. “These apples are my ‘fruit accompli’,” he said. It
was clear that he had a fatal attraction to puns.
His kids were hardly better. He
invited me in the house for a lemonade and his two kids, Nigel and Kingfish,
were arguing over one smartphone which apparently they shared. “Take your hands
off my apps!” shouted Nigel.
Speaking of electronic devices,
remember back a few decades when there was a whole whack of aerial spraying
against the spruce budworm? Do we also see on TV that down in Brazil people are
spraying all kinds of toxic chemicals to try and get rid of mosquitos that
might be carrying the Zika virus?
I think the time has come to mount a
spraying campaign against electronic devices. You got your iPhone, iPad,
Android, etc. etc. etc. and there’s another one of them invented every six
hours. This proliferation (are we up to iPhone 351 yet?) can’t be good for the
environment, so what choice do we have
but to spray?
Then there are the programs and
systems that can be ‘accessed’ on these devices. There’s Snapchat, Instagram,
Facebook, MySpace, MyButt, and so on and so on. Get out the toxic spray
canisters and let’s go back to dial telephones that are attached to the wall. So much more efficient.
-end-
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