It
will pay for itself in five minutes, or not
by
Robert LaFrance
Today
I want to share an important question with my faithful and longsuffering
readers: what is the polite way – or is there a polite way? – of kicking the
upside-down ice castles (UDIC) off someone else’s car?
While many reading this will think
it’s kind of a frivolous question, there is an important point involved here –
etiquette. Although, as the late Will Rogers used to say, “I am just mangy with
etiquette” I have never heard from the experts what should be done when you get
out of your vehicle and see on the vehicle next to you, just behind the front
wheels, huge almost triangular chunks of ice that once were slush.
It is a rather satisfying feeling to
kick those UDICs (choose your own word) off a vehicle. For me, it’s a feeling
that I’ve accomplished something that day, but the question is, should we kick
them off other people’s vehicles without their permission?
Don’t tell me you haven’t thought of
it.
I suppose one reason I don’t kick
those things – there must be an official name! – off someone else’s vehicle is
that there’s a good chance that someone will be watching – and filming.
Everybody in the world seems to have a
video camera these days and they’re not afraid to use them. Ever since the days
when six or eight white Los Angeles police officers were filmed beating and
stomping Rodney King, everybody decided to get their own camera. And of course
there are cameras in many stores and all over the place in the cities.
You see, the chances of my kicking one
of those ice castles off a vehicle and not being filmed by some local Steven
Spielberg are low; even so, it’s a temptation.
I often wonder if all these people
taking videos are even doing it legally. Every street corner and variety show
in Christendom holds someone taking videos. What do they do with the files when
they get home? During the fifteen years when I was allowed (in spite of my
obvious talent issues) to play guitar, bass guitar, piano etc. with the
Wednesday Evening Fiddlers there was almost always someone filming the show,
and sometimes even the jams. Whatever happened to those digital and other
films? Perhaps some of them were sold to illicit theatres in Macao and Nigeria.
Then the one doing the filming be a videopath but we all have bad days.
Just as a side note, I want to mention
that sometime in the 1990s I asked an older lady who had been filming how she
was enjoying the show. She said she never saw one because 99% of the time she
was filming and had the camera to her face. I asked if she watched after she
went home and she said she didn’t have time.
It just occurred to me that the lady’s
attitude might very well apply to 2015 as well. Anyone filming the action as I
kick the ice castles off the vehicle next door in the grocery store parking lot
probably wouldn’t realize what they were seeing anyway.
Perhaps I’m free, free to kick away,
but probably not.
*****************************
On another subject, we in this estate
are enjoying the heat pumps we had installed last July, when they were also great
air conditioners. Although we have seen a significant rise in our hydro bill,
it has been worth it because we no longer use the wood heater in the living
room. I’ve done a lot of cursing over the years as I brought wood in from the
shed, which is at the other end of the house.
The reason I bring up this subject is
that when we bought the Fujitsu air-to-air heat pumps everyone we saw told us
said the heat pumps would “pay for themselves” in five years, seven years,
whatever, which is a great big fat load of bunk. It always is when people say
that. Our electricity bill is up $80 a month and we save $81 worth of wood. Do
the math.
About eight years ago we had new
windows and siding put on this house that was built in 1887, and the $12,000 we
spent would “pay for itself” in ten years. As I said, a big fat load of bunk.
What happened was that we used the
same amount of wood but were much warmer. The old windows had been a little
draughty. I would say I could have thrown a cat out one of the holes anywhere,
but cat lovers might object to the idea. They don’t have much of a sense of
humour when they are discussing their little darlings.
So the conclusion of my exhaustive
studies on whether these expensive renovations can “pay for themselves” in five
or ten years is this: no, they won’t. Just do the upgrading and get it over
with.
-end-
No comments:
Post a Comment