Whatever
happened to Pamela Wallin?
by
Robert LaFrance
Many people have congratulated my
daughter Kate who did very well on Episode 6 of the CBC-TV show “Canada’s
Smartest Person” and when I say ‘many’ I mean MANY people.
Facebook, emails, tweets, etc. – she
is still receiving accolades for her great performance, but I think I should
get a medal or two as well, plus some sort of medical attention for biting my
fingernails down to the third knuckle.
It’s a nerve-racking thing to watch
your kid, even if she is 29, stand up there on national TV and not only hold
her own, but very nearly win the final over a guy who got his medical degree
when he was 23.
Anyone who wants to watch that
episode #6 can go to this URL on the Internet: http://www.cbc.ca/smartestperson/episodes.
I feel that on there somewhere should be a big thank you to ME from CBC-TV. I
guarantee I was much more nervous than Kate.
*****************************
I try not to talk about the weather
too much, but I must say that first winter snowstorm was a doozie. I’ve written
to the Prime Minister who has often implied he can control the weather, but so
far I have only received a letter from one of his flunkies – a George P.
Donleavy.
Mr. Donleavy asserted that, although
PM Harper can indeed control the weather, he was busy at the moment welcoming a
delegation from Chernobyl. I understand that they have glowing praise for the
job the prime minister has done so far.
I just want to say, Mr. Prime
Minister, that I am totally unimpressed with your first huge snowstorm of the
year and I sincerely hope that will be it until Dec. 24 when you will drop just
enough to make it a white Christmas. Then perhaps Global Warming will take over
and we will be out in our pools by the first of February.
(NOTE FROM MY FRIEND FLUG: The only pools Bob
has ever participated in has been the hockey pools or pool halls.)
Back to the subject after that
unauthorized interruption, I was not greatly inconvenienced by the huge
snowstorm, but I must soon do a story on garage owners. They are now part of
the ‘nouveau riche’ culture because their garages have been going night and day
putting on winter tires. I have called three garages this morning already and
the earliest they could ‘fit me in’ has been January 27th.
Here are a few more observations
from someone who doesn’t always have enough useful things to do: The first one
involves birdseed. I am about to sue (for false advertising) the companies who
sell birdseed; this past spring, for the second year in a row, I planted
birdseed in the garden and not one chickadee or robin grew. All that came up
were sunflowers.
I’m also thinking of suing a certain
communications company. In July I saw an ad for a ‘bundle’ consisting of
satellite TV, high-speed Internet, and land-line telephone, all three for $115
a month plus tax. A month later I added $15 worth of programming so that my
total monthly bill should have been $130 plus tax. My smallest monthly bill so
far has been $238 and every time I get my bill I have to phone the company and
complain that they’ve charged me for things that must have been added by my dog
Kezman, like extra mileage for the guy hooking up the TV since he lives in
Saskatoon. I think I’m about to go back to my previous companies.
The other evening, over a jar of
lemonade – actually two jars, he’s not THAT much of a friend – Flug and I were
talking about pre-existence. It was late. He said that Louie, a friend of his,
had positive proof that he had had a previous life as an assistant to Julius
Caesar. Indeed, Louie and Caesar’s wife had married after the emperor had been
murdered by Brutus and others. Flug looked a little sad at that point and I
asked him what was wrong. “My previous life was as Gene Autrey’s horse,
Trigger. I told him that I had long suspected he was a certain part of a horse
and this was proof positive. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that Gene’s
horse had been Champion, not Trigger.
As I’ve mentioned before,
some words find their way into everyday use even though not a one of us has an
idea what they mean. A show of hands, please: what does the word ‘algorithm’
mean? I don’t know either, although I hear it about every day. How about ‘matrix’?
‘Parameter’? Remember those forgotten Senate scandals during which Senator
Pamela Wallin kept saying the word ‘recuse’ which means drop out or delete
oneself? Within the next month every reporter in Canada started using that word
in his or her stories.
By the way, is Pamela going to be
recused from the Senate? There’s no recuse for her behaviour.
-end-
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